Friday, October 22, 2010

Episode 15: A Night On The Town

Meanwhile back at the boarding house…

Larry ran swiftly and silently down the stairs eager to let Precious know about what he’d heard as he listened at Blade’s door. He ran quickly into the kitchen, no-one there. He ran into the dining room, not a soul. She must be in the lounge, nope.

Only one place left …. Her boudoir! He ran back up the stairs he’d just come down and headed up to the top floor of the boarding house where Precious had her private quarters.

He knocked softly on her bedroom door and called out “Precious, are you there?”. No answer. Hmmmm .. where was she? He turned the handle and opened the door slowly. He pushed his head through and called again “Precious!” Still no answer. He swung the door open. The room was empty.

He went further into the room. He heard the door slowly click closed behind him. The heavy velvet curtains were drawn and the only light in the room was coming from the en suite bathroom light. He made his way cautiously over to the huge king-sized bed.

The floor around the bed was strewn with clothes. Precious sure wasn’t known for being tidy! Larry picked up a feather boa and sniffed. He could smell the deep musky perfume Precious liked to wear. He spotted stockings, suspenders, a corset and a pair of red patent stilettos with killer heels. He stood there, thinking for a moment. He looked over at the door then back at the shoes.

“What the hell” he muttered to himself. He slowly slipped his feet into the stilettos as he wrapped the feather boa around his neck. He hobbled over to the big wardrobe stuffed full of ball gowns, slinky little silk numbers and cocktail dresses. He reached for a Chanel cocktail dress and slipped it over his head. He slowly zipped it up.

That felt good. It had been so long! He hadn’t put on a single dress since the old woman had died and he’d run for his life from her swanky New York apartment on Central Park West.

At first, he’d hated living with the old woman and longed to be back in his native Madagascan jungle but as time passed he grew to love this strange lady.

He’d originally been given to her as a Christmas present from her movie director husband and she had even named him after the great man - Larry J Broderick, Jnr. “Honey” she told her husband one night when he’d been complaining about her inability to give her a son “this is the only pitter-patter of tiny feet you are ever gonna hear”.

When Larry Snr died she’d gone off the rails a bit and started drinking and taking prescription painkillers again. She’d often think that Larry was her long-dead sister who’d she started her acting career with back in the 40’s. “Come on, Loretta, let’s do that scene from Streetcar darling” she’d shout as she stumbled up the stairs towards her the sumptuous wardrobe.

She loved to dress him up in her finest gowns and outfits from her old acting days and they’d act out scenes from her favourite movies. He loved to feel the silk and velvet on his fur. The make up, the wigs, everything! He could go from plain old Larry to sexy gorgeous Loretta in moments. Who knew such a thing would make him so happy?

He twirled and turned this way and that to look at himself in the mirror. He sashayed over to the dressing table and selected a long rope of pearls and a pair of clip on diamond earrings. He quickly grabbed a ruby red lipstick and long blonde wig from the table and rushed out of the bedroom door and down the stairs.

Time to get himself - oops sorry I mean herself - he giggled uptown and check out the nightlife! Just like the old days! Watch out Cooperville, Loretta is back in town.......

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Episode 14: Runaway Corpse

Misty could hear voices as she lay on the table in the Cooperville Morgue. She’d been transferred to the Morgue after she was pronounced dead at the penthouse.

They had put her into a black bag and dumped her on a trolley. She was then wheeled her unceremoniously into the back of a black van. She could hear Dash and Chase sobbing uncontrollably as the doors slammed shut.

Now she was at the Morgue and appeared to be laying on some kind of table. There was a sheet covering her from head to toe and she could hear footsteps and muffled voices nearby.

She let her mind to replay the last few hours. She tried to focus on the last few moments before she’d been paralysed by Blade.

Blade! What had he said? Something about protecting her. How he would save her. Her mother had sent him! However, her mother was dead! Moments before Dash and Chase has come crashing into the apartment, he had whispered that she didn’t need to worry. It would all be all right. He would save her. Well he had better hurry up or she was in danger of becoming chopped liver!

She heard footsteps coming towards her. She couldn’t turn her head, move her eyes, she couldn’t even blink. A floating head appeared about her and she saw the masked face of Dr Cressida Talbot, Cooperville’s Medical Examiner. Talbot was instantly recognisable; no one forgot those piercing icy blues eyes of the beautiful Siberian Husky.

‘Well, dear Misty, I shall be gentle with you, my little one, but I must find out what happened to you. Forgive me’. It was as if Talbot knew that Misty was alive!

Talbot pulled the microphone down from the ceiling towards her and started speaking in her delectable Russian accent.

‘Female Siamese cat …. age ….. approximately 2 years …’ She bent to stare closely at Misty. ‘I am going now to make the incision to determine if there is organ damage and time of death from the stomach contents’.

Misty lay completely helpless on the table as Dr Talbot turned to a trolley containing a range of stainless steel surgical instruments.

Just then, a voice called out from the Morgue reception. ‘Hey Doc! Got a delivery for ya!’

‘One moment’ Talbot called out. She turned back to Misty and replaced the sheet over her. ‘I will be there momentarily please wait!’

Misty broke into a cold sweat; at least she would have broken into a cold sweat if she could DO anything!

She lay on the table listening for anything that might indicate that she was about to be saved. She heard a strange rumbling noise to her left. More silence. Another rumble; rollerblades!

She felt warm breath in her ear. ‘I told you I’d be back for you Misty’. Blade’s face appeared above her where Talbot’s face had been moments earlier. Grinning madly down at her he said ‘ok sweet cheeks, we’re going for a little ride!’ She felt the table she was laying on slowly turn towards the doors Talbot had just exited.

Blade powered forward on his rollerblades using his well-developed leg muscles. Those extra rollerblading sessions were definitely paying off he thought hysterically to himself!

‘Yeeehaaaaawwww’ he cried out in triumph. The trolley crashed through the double-doors of the examination room, hurtled down a slope and crashed through another set of double doors out into the early evening warmth.

Blade gave the trolley one final push towards some hydrangea bushes and bundled up Misty into his strong paws. ‘You’re safe now girl’ he said and skated off downtown.

Misty lay in Blade’s arms and felt relief flood through her as she realised Blade had indeed saved her! ‘It’s time you had some answers’ he said and added ‘Tallulah is gonna be very happy to see you’.

Her mother! What was going on? Why had Chase told her their mother was dead? Did her mother know about Dash? How was Blade going to free her from the paralysis? She was sure she wouldn’t have to wait long to find out everything she was so desperate to know…..... and she would get to meet the famous Tallulah!

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Episode 13: Dangerous games...

Back in Cooperville...

Two Labrador puppies scampered from the Cooperville Toy, Treat & Toothbrush Emporium, squealing with delight.

"Quick Ben, pass it to me! C'mon, c'mon!" yipped the first puppy.

"Okay, stand back a bit then!" Ben laughed. "Ready Jerry? Go long!"

Jerry raced down the street as Ben flipped the shiny new Indestructoball high into the air. Flecks of slobber flew from the ball as it bounced once, then twice, and was caught by Jerry mid air before it could hit the ground again.

Both puppies yelped with excitement. "Cool!" Ben squealed, crouching into a play bow. "My turn now, throw it back to me!"

Jerry flung the Indestructoball back towards Ben as hard as he could, tripping over his own feet as he let the ball go. The last minute stumble sent the ball off course, and it hit the wall of a nearby building before bouncing two more times along the sidewalk, rolling to a stop well short of Ben.

"What was that?" Ben laughed.

"Do over!" Jerry yelled as he bolted for the ball.

"No way!" Ben yipped as he raced for the ball as well, crashing into Jerry and bowling him over into a squirming heap.

The giggling puppies wrestled for several moments before flopping to the ground to catch their breath.
"Hey flea breath, I think your watch is broken!" panted Jerry.

"I don't have a watch bug brains!" said Ben.

"Then what's that ticking?"

"Maybe your brain finally snapped!" said Ben as he leapt away from Jerry. Jerry sprang after him, tackling him back to the ground.

The puppies tumbled over each other, knocking into the Indestructoball and sending it rolling down the street. The loud ticking sound coming from the ball became faster as it rolled, and it headed for the mail box on the corner.

"Hey mister!" Ben yelled to the postdog emptying the mail box. "Can you please throw my ball back?"

"Sure thing kid." As the postdog stooped to retrieve the ball the ticking suddenly stopped. The ball exploded with a loud pop, knocking the postdog off his feet and sending letters high into the air.

With letters fluttering down around them the puppies stood in stunned silence for a moment, before leaping into the air, whooping with delight.

"That was awesome!" shrieked Ben.

"Let's get another one!" yelled Jerry, "and let's make it a big one this time!"

The two puppies raced each other back into the shop, almost knocking Dash and Chase over as they came around the corner.

"Watch it!" Dash snapped before tripping over the dazed postdog sprawled on the footpath. "What the halibut happened here...? Oh no!"

"What is it?" asked Chase.

"We've got a problem. I've got to get to a phone, now!"...

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Episode 12: Total recall

Meanwhile over at The Wan Ju Toy Factory ……

Percival Carruthers adjusted his monocle with one manicured wing as he read an email from yet another half-witted customer wittering on about the ‘old days’ when his grandfather had started The Wan Ju Toy Factory after WWII. The fact that his grandfather had called the Factory The Wan Ju Toy Factory was a source of constant irritation to Percy.

‘Grandfather, you do know that you have called the factory The Toy Toy Factory?’ he’d sighed for the thousandth when he was trying to get him to drop the Wan Ju from their company name.

‘Yes Percy that’s the point! It’s just a bit fun. This is a toy factory, yes?’ Archie responded in his usual irritatingly cheerful manner. “And we make toys! So, we are a toy toy factory. It always brings a smile to my face every time I say it”.

Archibald Carruthers, Archie to his friends, of which he had many, had handed over the running of his beloved factory to his grandson two years previously. His beloved son, Jimmy, had been killed in a tragic hunting accident several years ago when Percy was only a year old and Archie was left with a one year old to bring up on his own.

They were from a long line of London racing and carrier pigeons and in his early years Archie had flown missions during WWII all across Europe. He’d had a few close calls and ended up falling in love with a beautiful American dove working at the Ministry stationed in London. When the war was over, they decided to go back to her native America and set up home.

Percy really missed the old man and knew Archie would probably be turning in his grave if he saw what Percy was about to do with the factory. A brief flicker of guilt passed over him and he shook out his wings as if he was just stretching them.

He pressed a button on the office intercom and heard his secretary immediately respond ‘Yes, Mr Carruthers?’

‘Get in here’ he snapped. He leant back in his executive leather chair and thought about how in a few weeks he was going to be the richest pigeon in Cooperville, maybe even the richest pigeon in the world! And all thanks to some rotten mangy cat that had the audacity to wander around HIS factory at night! A cat that was now dead, poisoned by an insane dog on roller skates, if you believed the newspapers.

His secretary sauntered into his office and perched pertly on the seat in front of his desk.

‘There’s a problem with the batch of Indestructoball we produced for Cooperville, I want a total product recall on that batch, and I want it now, Miss French!’ he barked at his secretary.

‘Yes sir, right away! I’ll get Bill straight on it’. Suzie thought it strange they were only recalling the Cooperville batch.

She hastily left the office and, after locating the batch number in the database, picked up the phone. ‘Hi Bill, it’s Suzie. Can you arrange a recall on the Indestructoball batch 537113 right away?'

After a brief discussion with Bill, she hung up the phone. She stared at the computer screen. Her boss had been acting very weird lately and she decided it was time to find exactly out what was going on.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Episode 11: You gotta have faith

Misty felt the tears welling in her beautiful green eyes as she ran from Miss Kitty’s Milkbar. Damn Chase to hell! She would not cry! She loved Dash and that was that! She angrily shook the tears away as she ran towards the penthouse apartment she shared with Blade in the uptown district of Cooperville.

Time to make some decision and find some answers! Misty picked up her pace and ran faster towards the Gato Towers apartment building. The concierge called out to her:

“Good afternoon Miss Misty, there’s a package for you”. The concierge jumped down from the desk and nudged a small fragrant box towards Misty. “I don’t know what it is, but it sure smells good Miss Misty”.

“Oh! Thanks George. I wonder what it is. Who delivered it?”

“That’s the strange thing Miss Misty. I was only out the back for a minute checking the litter trays and when I came back in, it was here on the desk”.

Misty sniffed the box. George was right! It smelled divine! No card, how exciting. Maybe Dash had sent her something romantic!

“Well, thanks again George, I’ll let you know!” With that she set off towards the elevator with the box safely stored in her backpack.

She entered the key code to the penthouse in the number panel of the elevator and it rattled into life heading slowly towards the 25th floor. The smell from the box made her stomach rumble and she realised she hadn’t eaten for hours.

The elevator doors slid open and she headed straight for the kitchen. First a little snack followed by some detective work, Misty style! She jumped up into the kitchen counter and removed the aromatic box from her backpack.

She flipped open the lid and was surprised to see a large omelette! She took a close sniff. She could smell the cheese and tuna and some kind of herb, probably Parsley. She wondered again if Dash had sent her an omelette? Bit of a weird present to send your secret lover! Oh well, he was a strange one. He knew about her love of tuna though! She took a bite of the omelette. Mmmmmmm, it was as delicious as it looked and smelled. She took another bite and another. Before she knew it, she’d polished off the whole omelette!

She jumped down from the counter and headed off towards her brothers room determined to find out more about their parents. He had to have some hidden letters or papers somewhere and she was going to find them.

She heard a strange squeaking noise behind her followed by a whirring noise. What the hell was that? She turned round and saw a large dog in a chefs hat holding what looked like an egg whisk staring down at her.

“Misty, I’m Blade. I’m here to help you. Don’t be scared, everything is going to be all right”.

Misty opened her mouth to speak but nothing would come out. She felt herself sliding down onto the floor. She couldn’t move or speak! What was happening to her?

The big dog was gliding towards her. Was she imagining things or was he wearing roller skates? He bent down and leaned in close and whispered in her ear.

“I’ve poisoned you. The poison makes it seem like you’re dead but you’re not. You’re just paralysed”.

Misty tried to open her mouth, blink, move a paw – anything! Nothing would move!

“I know you are trying to tell me you can hear me. It’s ok Misty, I know. Someone very close to you sent me here, someone who wants me to protect you”.

“I’m going to leave in a few moments before Chase and Dash get here but I want you to know everything is under control”.

With that he stood up and skated across to the elevator. “I’ll be waiting for you at the crematorium Misty. Don’t lose faith bambina”.

Misty’s mind was racing at 100 miles an hour. Paralysed? Poison? Crematorium? Bambina? That’s what Chase had said their mother called her when she was very tiny! She tried desperately to move but was totally paralysed. What was going to happen to her? Soon Chase and Dash would be here and they would think of something. Just relax Misty, she told herself. Ha! What else could she do?

She heard the whir of the elevator. They were coming! She could hear voices. Chase and Dash were coming.

“Misty, Misty!” Can you hear me? Misty!!!. Chase was screaming at her. She couldn’t move. He was crying. “Dash, we’re too late, she’s dead”.

Chase sat cradling what he thought was the lifeless body of his daughter in his paws. Dash stood beside him, one paw on his shoulder. Tears pouring down his cheeks.

Misty lay paralysed unable to cry out or let them know she was ok. Everything was going to be ok. As long as they took her to the crematorium, she would be ok.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Episode 10: Canned heat

Meanwhile in an alleyway not far from Miss Kitty’s Milkbar……

Chase sauntered up to the trashcan and stood close. His whiskers twitched in the sunlight as decided his next move.

He knocked sharply on the side of the bin and called out “Hey Dash, you in there buddy?”

He could hear a rustling and a strange beeping noise coming from inside “Errr … hang on …. that you Chase?” came the muffled response.

“Yeah it’s me. What're you up to pal?” he asked feeling a slight impatience.

“One sec, I’ll be right with you!” More rustling and then the lid on the bin opened a crack. “You alone?” Dash asked quietly.


“Ok, come on in.”

“Look Dash, I’m not really in the mood for rummaging around in the trash right now. I want to talk to you about Misty.”

“Trust me Chase, you won’t regret it".

Chase stood outside the trashcan for a moment trying not to get annoyed. His tail swished back and forth rapidly. “Ok, ok, but it better be good”.

Dash raised the lid of the trashcan higher so Chase could jump inside. Was it his imagination or was the lid on hinges? He gracefully jumped up  and balanced on the edge before jumping down onto what appeared to be a carpeted platform.

“What the……” he exclaimed.

Dash pressed a button on the side of the can and the platform slowly descended into the darkness below. As Chase’s eyes adjusted to the gloom he could see lights flashing, hear more strange beeping noises again and tinny voices.

“Welcome to the CBI, the cat bureau of investigation, undercover trash division” Dash said proudly, his chest puffing out just a little so Chase could see his ID badge ‘Special Agent Dash Brent’ it read.

Chase’s jaw dropped just a little. What the hell had happened to the slightly shoddy, slightly overweight private detective? This cat was totally different!

“Chase, we’ve got some things we need to talk about. Most importantly, we need to talk about Misty. Chase, she’s in terrible danger”.

Dash turned towards a bank of screens and a keyboard. “Come over here and check out this. We got this recording through from one of our operatives undercover at the Nip Inn Boarding House this afternoon.”

Chase stared at the computer screens and watched events unfold before his eyes. He turned, panicking, grabbing Dash by the shoulder, hard. “Dash, I’ve got to get to Misty – NOW!!!”

Dash adjusted the headset and spoke quietly into the mic “The omelette has landed, I repeat, the omelette has landed”.

“Come on Chase, we haven’t got long”. They stepped onto the platform together and Dash pressed the up button. They jumped out of the trashcan and ran hell for leather towards Chase’s swanky uptown apartment, praying they weren’t too late.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Episode 9: One bad egg could spoil the omelette

Blade pressed the end call button on his Iphone and stood for a moment staring out of the window.

“Oh yes, I’m gonna take real good care of you my friend”.

He turned away from the window and made his way purposefully to the door. As he reached out one large paw to turn the handle, he noticed a shadow cross quickly in front of the bottom of the door.

Someone had been listening in on his little ‘conversation’. He crept quietly but quickly to the door and opened it just enough to peek through the crack. He noticed a sleek black-ringed tail disappear as the spy quickly ran down the stairs.

He’d know that tail anywhere! Well well, Larry the Lemur had been listening at the door. Why? And who for? Precious no doubt!

He returned to his rucksack that lay open on the bed. He riffled through his things, panicking slightly! Had he brought them? Of course, he never went anywhere without them!. He pulled things randomly from the bag - whisk, chef’s hat, garlic press, spare roller-blading wheels – no no no!! He could feel the tension rising in his chest. Come on, come on! Where are you?

He felt deeper into the rucksack and breathed a sigh of relief – oh thank dogness. There they were. He pulled out a bag of what looked very much like dried and ground parsley leaves, the perfect accompaniment to any omelette! These leaves were a very different kettle of fish. Tasteless and odourless, these babies were pure dynamite, they could paralyse after just one mouthful.

This omelette was one that would leave the eater feeling more than just a little ‘scrambled’. On examination, any vet would proclaim the victim dead but Blade knew he would be very much alive and wouldn't be able move or speak!

Blade chuckled to himself as he placed the bag of leaves carefully under his chef's hat and checked his reflection in the mirror.  He hoped he knew what he was doing! Come on big guy! He couldn't afford to start getting a conscience now.

Time for some cooking ……. for a very special guest!

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Episode 8: The Call.....

After getting to his room, Blade pulled out his Iphone and spoke "Call X".

After a few rings, the caller answers.

"Yeah, I'm here; Yeah I brought the stuff bbut, Blade stuttered, there may be a slight problem... He's here"

The voice on the other line gets louder, Blade pulls the phone away from his ear.

Blade cringes, and tucks his tail.

After what seemed like an eternity, Blade returns the phone to his ear.

"I know I know, but how was I supposed to know that HE would be HERE?!!"

Blade pauses for more verbal lashing from the other line.

Blade interrupted nervously, "I don't think he has any idea who I am.... or why I'm here."

Suddenly the room goes dark, and the moonlight shines on Blade's eyes.

With more aggression in his voice, Blade answered.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of HIM"

Friday, June 18, 2010

Episode 7: Revenge is a dish best served cold

“Damn it Misty! Just stay away from Dash, do you hear me!”

“I can do what the hell I like and you can’t stop me! You are not my father”.

With that, Misty jumped down from the stool. She quickly wiped the milkshake moustache from her mouth with one exquisite paw. She flicked her tail, just once, showing her annoyance at her brother.

Chase stared down at her, half closing his eyes and glaring “Where do you think you’re going?”

“I’m going to see Dash and you can’t stop me”. With that she disappeared sleekly through the catflap into the early evening.

Chase sat staring at the counter wondering how he was going to explain to Misty that he was exactly that - her father! Would she understand why they had never told her the truth about him? He still remembered that magical time with Misty’s mother as if it were yesterday. Oh Tallulah! How he missed her. He'd give anything to hear her sing again as only a Siamese can sing! 

By the time she gave birth to Misty, the final kitten in a litter of seven, it was too late, they couldn’t save her! Her wounds were too great. Even though she was so weak but had made him promise he would say he was her son! If those lemurs had found out he was her lover they would have been on him like, well, like lemurs!

He lifted one paw to his face, flexed it and his claws sprang out, razor sharp! One day he would find the lemur responsible for Tallulah’s death and he would have his revenge!

He said quietly to himself “Yes Larry, I will find you and when I do, you’ll need more than a stupid hat and a whisk to protect you!”

“Everything okay Chase?” Miss Kitty asked looking nervous.

“Oh yeah baby, it’s all good. Put it on my tab would ya?” he called back and jumped neatly through the catflap into the street.

He headed off down the street, stopping momentarily to glimpse at his reflection in the shop window. God he was gorgeous no doubt about that! He decided it was time to have a talk with Dash. He had to put a stop to the relationship with Misty before it went too far. He didn't want anyone to find out the truth about Dash! If his cover was blown, he'd never find Larry and get his revenge.

He turned the corner and saw the lid of a nearby bin quickly rattle shut. Hmmm, Dash still couldn't get over his trash habit! Time to have a chat with the tabby detective!

Episode 6: Meanwhile in Miss Kitty's Milkbar...

Meanwhile...across the street in Miss Kitty's Milkbar...

Chase Singleton strolled into the milkbar, springing lithely onto the closest barstool.

Miss Kitty looked up from where she was battering a batch of mice. "What'll it be Chase hon?"

"Gimme a full cream milk, but hold the milk please."

"All cream huh? Tough day hon?"

Chase shrugged and started to groom himself with affected nonchalance. Miss Kitty did not buy this attempt to appear casual, but decided to let it go.

"Here you go, full cream, straight up," she said, pouring the thick liquid into a tall glass in front of him.

"Leave the bottle," Chase mumbled as he licked his paw and rubbed it behind his ear.

Miss Kitty raised a quizzical eyebrow, but placed the cream bottle on the counter and went back to deep frying mice. The catflap in the front door swung open and a slender young cat sprang inside. Chase groaned and buried his face in his paws.

"Is this seat free?" the girl asked, skipping over to Chase's side.

"No," Chase snapped, "why can't you leave me be Misty?"

"I don't know, just thought you might need some company after a day like today." Misty replied, extending her front legs and scratching her claws on the carpet lined counter.

"Don't bother sis, I really don't want to talk about it, especially with you," Chase replied before turning his attention to the cream.

Misty sighed, then waved a paw at Miss Kitty. "Excuse me miss! I'll take a pot of extra strong nip tea thanks!"

Miss Kitty snorted. "If you're old enough for nip then I'm a snow leopard, nice try though."

"Oh come on, I'm practically an adult," pleaded Misty.

"Do you want me to lose my liquor licence? Why don't I give you a strawberries and cream milkshake, and then maybe I don't have to call your parents and tell them you're trying to pull the fur over my eyes?"

"Fine," huffed Misty. "So Chase, you ready to talk about it yet?"

"What is there to talk about? So I find out you've been secretly dating my best friend? So what? Why is my opinion suddenly so interesting?" Chase bolted down the last of the cream in his glass, then started to scull straight from the bottle.

"Gross!" Misty exclaimed. "And the interest in your opinion is because you don't seem to be handling the news all that well."

Chase burped loudly and slammed the empty bottle down on the counter. "If either of you really cared about my feelings you would have told me what was going on right from the start, or better still, not started seeing each other at all!"

"Oh that's nice Chase," Misty hissed, "so I'm not good enough to date your precious best friend Dash, is that it?!"

"Maybe I'm upset because Dash isn't good enough for you!"

Misty stared at her brother in disbelief. "What's that supposed to mean?"...

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Episode 5: Awkward moments......

Hearing the annoyance in Precious' voice  Blade felt a pit in his stomach, and it wasn't the sock he ate earlier.

"Well Precious you don't have to fret I am in town for another reason altogether, just need a place to rest my bones and all. So ya got a room or what?" Blade sneered at Larry and Jerimiah.

Precious walked back to the small desk on the other side of the room and grabbed a set of keys on a squeaky toy keychain and tossed them to Blade.

"Just settle up before ya pass through  darlin'" Precious emphasized her disbelief in Blade's excuse and rolled her eyes.

Larry moved closer to Precious, making sure Blade and Jerimiah knew she was his girl. He put his paws on her shoulders.

Now why don't you two chumps beat it cause this ain't the social club, this is a place of biness!" Larry pointed to door and glared with his bright yellow eyes.

Jerimiah blew a kiss to Precious as he walked out the door. "Lemme know when you and this FOOL are through beautiful!"

Blade turned to walk to his room, thinking to himself.....why can't he just say business properly? Who does he think he is? And why is Precious with HIM?!

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Eposide 4: Pet psychic

♫Torn between two lovers, feelin' like a fool
Lovin' both of you is breakin' all the rules
Torn between two lovers, feelin' like a fool
Lovin' you both is breakin' all the rules

Blade's eyes maniacally darted about the room. He was agitated, startled, and perplexed. Where was that music coming from? He hadn't noticed any music playing devices or speakers about.

Precious and Jeremiah, meanwhile, appeared unperturbed. She mindlessly stroked his fur with her paw. He released a bit of flatulence.

"Is that an iPad in your pocket or are you just surprised to see me?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Sport," Jeremiah snapped.

Blade winced. He despised dudes who called other dudes 'Sport.'

"Everybody knows bulldogs don't use iPads. What are you talkin' about anyway? Hey! Who *is* this clown?" As usual, Jeremiah was becoming combative and impatient.

Precious sighed, then rolled her eyes. "Small bulldogs," she thought to herself, "always overcompensating."

Blade whipped his head around. The sharp, involuntary action had the unintended benefit of dislodging at least a couple pesky stowaways from his ears. Was there someone else in the room?

"He's talkin' about YOU, flea bag!" Precious hissed, bearing pearly white, tightly clenched, sharp and pointed teeth. But in her heart, there occurred an unexpected spike and then a flurry of quickening heartbeats. Her breathing suddenly felt more-- shallow.

Blade could always read her mind; hear her thoughts. He was her Pet Psychic, doggy-style. Could it be after all this time - after all that's happened, he could still hear the echoes of the soundtrack of her heart?

Blade shook out his head. Precious licked her lips. Jeremiah expressed a bit of flatulence. Larry lurked menacingly, in the shadows. He dared not say a word. Nobody cared.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Episode 3: Three's a crowd

"Finally I meet the infamous Blade, well there's only room in this town for one sous chef!" A high pitched squeaky voiced proclaimed.

Precious moved across the room towards the voice who began to enter the room, the light from the doorway making him appear angelic.

Blade covered his eyes with a paw. "Seems only decent for you tell me who you are since you already seem to know so much about me!" Blade puffed up his chest and the fur behind his neck, trying to look as intimidating as he could.

Finally the figure stepped into the room showing his face. His piercing yellow eyes were the first thing Blade noticed, then the black surrounding them. When his eyes moved to the figure's body Blade started to notice how tiny he was.

Precious stepped towards the wee figure and put her paws on his shoulder. "This is Larry, he's the new sous chef in town, and Blade he is my new lover!"

Episode 2: Reunion

"Hello Blade," replied the voice in the shadows. "I was hoping I'd seen the back of you, but now I see you're back...and it seems I'm talking to your back, won't you at least turn around?"

Pirouetting neatly on his roller skates, Blade turned towards the voice. "Is that better baby?" he sneered. "Now won't you show me your pretty face?"

"Don't call me baby!"

"Sorry, won't you please come out where I can see you Precious?" Blade responded, not sounding the least bit apologetic.

Precious sauntered slowly from the shadows, hair as high as a hill and dog breath to die for.

"Better?" she asked.

"Much," Blade replied. "Admit it, you missed me didn't you?"

"Hmpf! How much could I miss someone who gave me the worst case of fleas I've had in my life?"

"Lies!" Blade snapped, "I've never had so much as a single flea in my life!"

Blade and Precious glared at one another, a palpable tension building in the air. Blade's back foot twitched as he mustered all his willpower to resist scratching at the fleas gnawing on his left ear.

Suddenly the front door banged open, making them both jump. They were no longer alone...

                                                   Precious Carrington gets an unwelcome visitor

Friday, June 11, 2010

Episode 1: A stranger rolls into town.....

It was early evening when the handsome stranger rolled into the small dusty town of Cooperville. The residents sensed trouble immediately.

What the hell was an ex roller-skating champion sous chef doing in Cooperville? They had heard of his type before! Where had he come from? What did he really want with a small town like theirs?

Was he here to take their jobs, their women? He would bring crime, drugs and poorly made dog toys! Cooperville would never be the same again if they didn't do something about him.

The stranger slowly mounted the steps to the one and only boarding house in Cooperville. The sign in the window said simply 'vacancies - no roller-skates'. He turned the handle of the large wooden door and entered the hallway.

'I knew you'd show up eventually, if I waited long enough' a low, sultry voice said from the shadows.

The stranger didn't need to look across the room to know who spoke. He'd recognise that voice anywhere. He purposely kept his back to the voice and said 'How you doin baby, it's been a while?'

The Bad and the Beautiful: An Anipal Soap

Watch the drama unfold in The Bad and The Beautiful. A new dramedy poking paws at all our classic cheesy favourites. 

The brains behind this production:

Stay tuned for dramedy and 
outlandish stories. 
(And BIG hair and shoulder pads of course!)